 |
Oroborus
Past, Present, and Future, all rolled up into One
|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
dnatree
Joined: 27 Sep 2006
Posts: 2703
|
 Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 6:42 pm Post subject: Alone |
 |
|
http://www.stephentree.com/alone/
_________________
Don't believe me or anyone, rather ask the Spirit what the true intentions of Your heart are and believe every word that You get from the Spirit. Father, let me learn only to speak as YOU speak through me. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
jbk
Joined: 20 Sep 2006
Posts: 3218
|
| Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 7:20 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: | CHAPTER 40 DETACHMENT
The only way to change is by changing your understanding. But what does it mean to understand? How do we go about it? Consider how we're enslaved by various attachments; we're striving to rearrange the world so that we can keep these attachments, because the world is a constant threat to them. I fear that a friend may stop loving me; he or she may turn to somebody else. I have to keep making myself attractive because I have to get this other person. Somebody brainwashed me into thinking I need his or her love. But I really don't. I don't need anybody's love; I just need to get in touch with reality. I need to break out of this prison of mine, this programming, this conditioning, these false beliefs, these fantasies; I need to break out into reality. Reality is lovely; it is an absolute delight. Eternal life is now. We're surrounded by it, like the fish in the ocean, but we have no notion about it at all. We're too distracted with this attachment. Temporarily, the world rearranges itself to suit our attachment, so we say, "Yeah, great! My team won!" But hang on; it'll change; you'll be depressed tomorrow. Why do we keep doing this?...
...... We're programmed; we're conditioned. How liberating it is not to depend emotionally on anything. If you could get one second's experience of that, you'd be breaking through your prison and getting a glimpse of the sky. Someday, maybe, you will even fly.
I was afraid to say this, but I talked to God, and I told Him that I don't need Him. My initial reaction was: "This is so contrary to everything that I've been brought up with." Now, some people want to make an exception of their attachment to God. They say, "If God is the God that I think He ought to be, He's not going to like it when I give up my attachment to Him!" All right, if you think that unless you get God you're not going to be happy, then this "God" you're thinking of has nothing to do with the real God. You're thinking of a dream state; you're thinking of your concept. Sometimes you have to get rid of "God" in order to find God. Lots of mystics tell us that.
We've been so blinded by everything that we have not discovered the basic truth that attachments hurt rather than help relationships. I remember how frightened I was to say to an intimate friend of mine, "I really don't need you. I can be perfectly happy without you. And by telling you this I find I can enjoy your company thoroughly -- no more anxieties, no more jealousies, no more possessiveness, no more clinging. It is a delight to be with you when I am enjoying you on a non-clinging basis. You're free; so am I." But to many of you I'm sure this is like talking a foreign language. It took me many, many months to fully understand this, and mind you, I'm a Jesuit, whose spiritual exercises are all about exactly this, although I missed the point because my culture and my society in general had taught me to view people in terms of my attachments. I'm quite amused, sometimes, to see even seemingly objective people like therapists and spiritual directors say of someone, "He's a great guy, great guy, I really like him." I find out later that it's because he likes me that I like him. I look into myself, and I find the same thing coming up now and again: If you're attached to appreciation and praise, you're going to view people in terms of their threat to your attachment or their fostering of your attachment. If you're a politician and you want to be elected, how do you think you're going to look at people, how will your interest in people be guided? You will be concerned for the person who's going to get you the vote. If what you're interested in is sex, how do you think you're going to look at men and women? If you're attached to power, that colors your view of human beings. An attachment destroys your capacity to love. What is love? Love is sensitivity, love is consciousness. To give you an example: I'm listening to a symphony, but if all I hear is the sound of the drums I don't hear the symphony. What is a loving heart? A loving heart is sensitive to the whole of life, to all persons; a loving heart doesn't harden itself to any person or thing. But the moment you become attached in my sense of the word, then you're blocking out many other things. You've got eyes only for the object of your attachment; you've got ears only for the drums; the heart has hardened. Moreover, it's blinded, because it no longer sees the object of its attachment objectively. Love entails clarity of perception, objectivity; there is nothing so clear-sighted as love.
Anthony De Mello, SJ
www.demello.org |
http://oroborusforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=120538#120538 |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
jbk
Joined: 20 Sep 2006
Posts: 3218
|
| Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 3:00 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Quote: | | How can you love people when you need people? You can only use them. If I need you to make me happy, I've got to use you, I've got to manipulate you, I've got to find ways and means of winning you. I cannot let you be free. I can only love people when I have emptied my life of people. When I die to the need for people, then I'm right in the desert. In the beginning it feels awful, it feels lonely, but if you can take it for a while, you'll suddenly discover that it isn't lonely at all. It is solitude, it is aloneness, and the desert begins to flower. Then at last you'll know what love is, what God is, what reality is. |
from De Mello
Awareness Chapter 41 |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
deerscribe
Joined: 22 Sep 2006
Posts: 3184
|
| Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 8:23 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| jbk wrote: | | Quote: | | How can you love people when you need people? You can only use them. If I need you to make me happy, I've got to use you, I've got to manipulate you, I've got to find ways and means of winning you. I cannot let you be free. I can only love people when I have emptied my life of people. When I die to the need for people, then I'm right in the desert. In the beginning it feels awful, it feels lonely, but if you can take it for a while, you'll suddenly discover that it isn't lonely at all. It is solitude, it is aloneness, and the desert begins to flower. Then at last you'll know what love is, what God is, what reality is. |
from De Mello
Awareness Chapter 41 |
Thank you dna and jbk. I've had several people who claim to be "worried about me" or that there's something wrong with me that I am spending much time alone at this point in my life. It's the first time in 50 years I've had a chance to be alone and I'm loving it! Not everyone understands the difference being being alone, and being lonely. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
sue
Joined: 02 Nov 2006
Posts: 301
Location: Georgia
|
| Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 8:33 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| deerscribe wrote: | | jbk wrote: | | Quote: | | How can you love people when you need people? You can only use them. If I need you to make me happy, I've got to use you, I've got to manipulate you, I've got to find ways and means of winning you. I cannot let you be free. I can only love people when I have emptied my life of people. When I die to the need for people, then I'm right in the desert. In the beginning it feels awful, it feels lonely, but if you can take it for a while, you'll suddenly discover that it isn't lonely at all. It is solitude, it is aloneness, and the desert begins to flower. Then at last you'll know what love is, what God is, what reality is. |
from De Mello
Awareness Chapter 41 |
Thank you dna and jbk. I've had several people who claim to be "worried about me" or that there's something wrong with me that I am spending much time alone at this point in my life. It's the first time in 50 years I've had a chance to be alone and I'm loving it! Not everyone understands the difference being being alone, and being lonely. |
I understand the difference and I must say I wish I were in your shoes right now. Hope you enjoy it while it lasts. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
dnatree
Joined: 27 Sep 2006
Posts: 2703
|
| Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2009 9:26 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Thanks Yall, Your quotes and remarks are right on time.
Driving home in the rain I was thinking about the Autonomy that was necessary to understand the subtle things that my heart was telling me and why I spent so many years alone. Then it was great to share with someone but relationship is like a pouring out of Yourself until death. It takes a lot of time alone while in relationship in order to keep the clarity gained in autonomy. I feel it is better to stay alone, and be a friend to all I meet, though what Pam and I shared has been the greatest sharing experience of my life. Still relationship takes me away from the best times with my moments alone, we begin to think we own each other and then the box begins to squeeze in and the DEFINITION prescribed by the priests of the veil begins to separate us. We rely on the Spirit to give us jolts like our experiences posted here to keep our eyes open and keep FRESH.
While learning from the Spirit I had to believe even when it seemed I was not rescued as believing even when it all falls apart was what made the Spirit respond the first time. It seemed like a broken heart because YOU seemed to forsake me but it was believing in the beginning even when it was not evident and the opposite was true from prior beliefs. By loving YOU even though YOIU slayed me was what made it different down the road.
_________________
Don't believe me or anyone, rather ask the Spirit what the true intentions of Your heart are and believe every word that You get from the Spirit. Father, let me learn only to speak as YOU speak through me. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Brock
Joined: 20 Sep 2006
Posts: 6179
|
| Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 12:39 am Post subject: |
|
|
I love being alone, I always have. As a child I was allowed to wander around anywhere in town. I want my aloneness to be a choice, an adventure, not a neglect, though. There is something about god which makes being alone more spiritual on some days. The earth sort of responds and becomes closer to me when I venture to that place. Maybe the earth's core has another sun/healing heart in there, communicating.
_________________
Get glad or stay mad. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
dnatree
Joined: 27 Sep 2006
Posts: 2703
|
| Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 3:05 am Post subject: |
|
|
Most in our society are so interdependent that as parts of society break down it will create great stress on those interdependencies.
And for those that are leaving the letter and veil for Spirit those interdependencies will be a cross of misunderstanding and stress that will take them to the edge related to love and the true intentions of those demanding their attention.
It will come down to who do You wish to please, the Spirit that is Your life or those that believe You are to do what they want only to find You are blamed in the end anyway.
_________________
Don't believe me or anyone, rather ask the Spirit what the true intentions of Your heart are and believe every word that You get from the Spirit. Father, let me learn only to speak as YOU speak through me. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Cattannia
Joined: 27 Sep 2007
Posts: 70
|
| Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 3:47 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Dna, that was one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. Thank you. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
|
FAQ
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
